Kids begin using the computer at an early
age. If we are going to protect our kids from internet predators, pornography,
and other dangers we must take the time to set family media guidelines. Just as
you would explain appropriate behavior in the offline world, the same should be
done for online activities.
Establishing a Media Agreement with your
children that applies both inside and outside the home is a good place to
start. It's important to not just think about guidelines for your family. Write
them down, print it out, and have each member of your family sign it.
Post the pledge in a prominent place in your
home.
Here are some non-technical guidelines to
help you keep your home and family safe.
- Parents
supervise use of all internet-enabled devices in the family.
- Let your child know that you will monitor his/her
activities.
- Create
a list of internet rules with your kids.
- See sample pledges at right.
- Include a list of the kinds of sites that are off
limits.
- Review the list or rules or safety pledge regularly.
- Use
safe search engines.
- Set up a safe search engine as the default first page
on your browser.
- Find
some websites that are wholesome to share with your child.
- Take some time to research sites with your child's
interests in mind.
- Bookmark them and share them with your child.
- Teach
family members to use the internet for a specific purpose only.
- Aimless surfing makes it easier to happen to come
across inappropriate sites.
- Teach
children the difference between private and public information.
- Private information should not be shared on the
internet without parental permission.
- Teach your kids to always come to you before giving
out information through e-mail, message boards, registration forms,
personal profiles, and online contests.
- Many predators pose as children to gain access to
information that may put children at risk.
- Teach
children to tell you if they encounter any form of pornography or anything
that makes them feel uncomfortable while on the computer or elsewhere.
- Be sure they know they can tell you this without fear
of losing computer privileges.
- This will help reduce the fear or shame of accidental
exposure.
- It also serves to open discussion about the dangers of
pornography.
- Encourage them to tell someone within 10 minutes, or
as soon as they can. Statistics show if they do this, they have a much
greater chance of not repeating that experience.
- Disallow
public and private chat rooms, bulletin boards, forums, or areas that make
you feel uncomfortable on the internet. Such places present a substantial
risk for children and adults.
- Explain that the internet isn't a place to make new
friends.
- Talk about what friendship is and isn't.
- Never interact online with people they don't know,
because an online predator or cyberbully can disguise him/herself.
- Have children ask a trusted adult if they are uncertain
about a website.
- Limit
instant messaging (IM) to a parent-approved buddy list.
- Teach
children to create passwords that others can't easily guess.
- Parents have access and passwords to your kids’ e-mail
and instant messaging accounts to make sure that they’re not talking to
strangers.
- Teach
children that the same rules they use when walking down a street apply
when they surf the net.
- Teach
your child to never have face-to-face meetings with anyone they only know
online.
- “Online friends” may not be who they claim to be.
- Teach that people sometimes pretend to be older or
younger than they actually are.
- Teach
family members never to open email from anyone they don’t know. Even
emails apparently from those you know could be a problem.
- Teach
your family to be ready to turn away from provocative images that are
displayed in advertising, written material, magazines, movies, television,
games, or any electronic device connected to the Internet.
- Decreasing exposure to media is a good way to reduce
the desensitizing process that occurs in our hyper-sexualized culture.
- Regularly
check the internet browser history.
- Check the history file on all family devices to see
which sites your child has accessed.
- Many families have a “No Browser History Erase”
rule on phones and internet connections. An erased browser history breaks
the family rule and has specific consequences.
- Cyberbullying
- Talk to your kids about ethical online behavior.
- They should not be using the Internet to spread
gossip, bully, or make threats against others.
- Teach your child the golden rule: Do unto others as
you would have them do unto you.
- If your child is victim of cyberbullying, teach them
to:
- Tell a trusted adult.
- Ask you for help and advice.
- Additional info for Cyberbullying.
- Report
internet crime and pornography
- It is illegal for an adult or company to knowingly
distribute pornography to minors.
- Child pornography is always illegal.
- Report an incident to Cyber Tipline.
Additional Guidelines for
Outside the Home
Your child may have access to other computers
that don’t have the same filters as you have set up at home. Be sure to include
other computers your children may use when setting the rules for them.
- Be
aware of the policies of your children’s school and the local public
library regarding internet use and accessibility.
- Confirm that your local schools and libraries have
filters in place.
- Additional info for Public Libraries.
- Your
child’s friends’ computers may not have the same safeguards as your home
computer.
- It would be a good idea to talk to the parents of the
children your child visits often and ask if they use filters on their
computer.
- Assist these families to set up filters and parental
controls on their digital devices.
- Share our website with the parents, as well as other
resources that can help them understand the harms and dangers of porn,
and help them learn to talk to their family about this subject.
The
dangers of social networks
Social networking sites haven’t been around
for too long but their popularity among kids and young adults is strong. When I
was younger, I remember grownups informing me and other kids of the dangers in
social networks and what dire consequences it could have if you left too much
information about yourself online. Today despite all the shocking stories we
hear on the news and other media people aren’t as careful as they should be.
Background checks and identity theft
I’m not just talking about child grooming but
the fact that people have been denied jobs and practice because of information
employers had found about them online. Identity theft is another common problem
that one should be aware of when leaving important information about oneself
online. Most websites should not be trusted and may not give you the security
promised.
Persecutors and paedophiles
Facebook is one of the biggest social
networks of today and is a great example of where people are very careless.
Users who don’t put their profiles to “private” on Facebook may not realise
that everyone with access to Internet can see their pictures, statuses and other
information they choose to publish. This has led to that paedophiles use social
networks to come in contact with children. Even so it’s very common that people
accept friend request from strangers they have no relation to. As of own
observation I’ve noticed that people not only list their names and addresses
but also phone numbers and plans after school. Updates of where you are and
with who are very common, and since people often update their statuses via
cellular Facebook automatically gives out where you were located when you sent
your text. This makes it very easy for strangers and also acquaints to follow
them.
Burglars and false profiles
Another big mistake people make is that they
may not even have thought of to inform others via statuses when they’re going
on a vacation. What they don’t realise is that a burglar could be reading it
and now have information of when they won’t be home. Among young people on
social networks like Facebook it’s common that you make up a false picture of
your life. Pretending like it’s much more exciting and amazing than it really
is causes other to think less of their lives and become insecure and unpleased.
Even though a false facade could have a bad impact on others, the way of
creating a profile give children the opportunity to create a positive self-view
and thereby maybe contributing to a stronger confidence.
Socialization, information and support
Furthermore social networks are a great tool
when trying to come in contact with long lost friends, meet new people with
common interests and stay in touch with family and friends or even teachers and
co-workers. Most social networks such as Facebook also offers information about
campuses, coming events and other information. By inviting people to big
events, social gatherings can occur such as demonstration or a fundraising for
something good. There are also certain websites that connect people with
difficulties and health or psychiatric problems so they won’t feel so alone and
can get support from people with similar experiences. Most websites for social
networks offer advertising and many users utilize it for a quick and easy way
to earn some extra money.
Summary
In conclusion there are without doubt both
advantages and disadvantages in having social networks. If all users knew where
the limit between harmless fun and real risk it wouldn’t be as big of a
problem. The main purposes of social networks are after all to keep people in
touch with their friends and facilitate sharing experiences, not to scare
people. To sum up, people need to be more cautious and not publish anything too
personal. It’s after all possible to have fun on social networking sites
without putting yourself or others at risk.
Is The Social Media Safe:
I
look up from my smart phone in dazed confusion to see my sister begging for my
attention. However I was busy. Why didn’t she understand? I had to let my
followers on Twitter know what God had just taught me. Oh and Facebook needs my
undivided attention. I have fallen into the trap. The trap called Social Media.
Billions
of people worldwide use social media. Facebook has 1.2 billion users worldwide.
Twitter has over 100 million users. You can count me as one of the users for
each. As I strive to grow closer to Christ my eyes are being opened to the
dangers of Social Media.
TIME
Do
you realize how much time is spent on social media? The total amount of minutes
spent on just Facebook alone every month is 700 billion. 700 billion?!
Tim
Challies, Pastor of Grace Fellowship Church, had this to say on the subject,
“Seven
hundred billion minutes. That’s how much time Facebook’s 500 million active
users spend on the site every month. 700,000,000,000 minutes. Let that one sink
in for a moment. Every month we spend the equivalent of 1.3 million years on
Facebook; the equivalent of nearly 18,000 lifetimes. More than half of us login
every single day; we average 130 friends. And we spend vast amounts of time on
there.”
Now
that is alot of time on just one website. Maybe you’re reading and thinking I
don’t spend that much time on there. Well the average person spends 15 hours
and 33 minutes a month on there. That statistic is mind blowing. Examine your
own life. How many minutes do you spend on Facebook or other social media
sites?
“Well
Shelton, I am using my websites to tell people what I’m learning from the
Bible.”
For
15 hours and 33 minutes? How much time are we putting to learning at the feet
of Jesus? I doubt many of us can say we put 15 hours and 33 minutes a month to
learning from God?
Revival
will not come from vanity. Vain hours in front of television and the internet
will not bring revival in America.
David
Wilkerson said,
“Please
don’t tell me you’re concerned when you’re spending hours in front of internet
or television?”
How
are you using the time that God is giving you? Time is a gift from God. Be
careful where you spend time because you will never get it back.
FANTASY
> REALITY
In
today’s world everybody is behind a screen. Face to face interaction is
becoming less and less. From text messages to social media we connect. Many are
getting to know others from behind a screen. However some have taken advantage
of the situation. Because fewer people know us on a personal level we begin to
build a façade. This fake persona is seen on our Twitter page or our Facebook.
Not many can call us out on our lie. We don’t like our reality so we dive into
fantasy. The fake you is more interesting then the real you it seems.
There
are many Christian dating anon accounts that paint an unhealthy view of how a
man is to be. These men tweet what a girl wants to hear. They have thousands of
followers however I doubt they live what they tweet. They’ve painted a perfect
man. I am sorry ladies there is no perfect man. The only perfect man died on a
cross for you. The man tweeting probably wouldn’t die for you. He has too many
lady twitter followers to impress.
The
reason why many of us spend so much time on social media is because finally we
find a place where we’re liked. Our fake persona gathers an audience. The
screen has become our stage. We are simply performing. However the Christian
life is not an act. We shouldn’t use God for a retweet, favorite, like, or
share. We must be real. The same person we are “on stage” should be who we are
off of it. Yes, those thousands of followers do not know who you are. But Jesus
does. Let us Christians be real. Don’t just tweet the Word. Live the Word. I
very much doubt there is a social media award in Heaven. We need to get off the
internet and apply what we know.
What
has happened to us? We care more about our persona to people on social media
then the real people all around us. Many of us are soaked into our smartphones
while neglecting the people who are right there. Do you realize the message you
are sending to the people around you? They are not important. Every time you
would rather look at that screen than build lasting relationships you are
telling those people around you that they are not important. However they are.
Those people at church need your attention. Those children at your youth group
are looking up to you. Those people in your family want you. Do not allow that
smartphone to take up more of your time then real people. Do not dive into the
fantasy. Do not escape reality for social media. Some of us tweet to tell the
world about Jesus. However that person on your job has not heard you mention
Christ once. Do not just care about the people on Twitter and Facebook. God has
placed real people around you for you to impact. Find those people and impact
them for Christ.
How
dare we say we are BOLD AND UNASHAMED of Christ yet we never verbally mention
His name. It is a shame and a disgrace. We have got to do better.
TOUGH
GUY SYNDROME
The
blessing of technology is that we can connect with people around the world.
Because of this blessing however there are fewer face to face interactions. Now
people prefer to text over talking. I have heard of breakups now over text
messages, tweets, and Facebook messages. People have found how easy it is to
write it out over to talk it out.
It
surprises me the things people say over social media or a text message. Now
people talk AT you rather than talking TO you. People have said things to me in
comments, in tweets, and in text messages that I know they would not say to me
face to face. I call this the tough guy syndrome. Many internet tough guys
emerge from being the screen. I know of supposedly Christian twitter accounts
that just attack other Christians about Theology. What has happened to the
church? What has happened to God’s people? We honestly have become cowards.
It
is cowardly to attack another brother and sister in Christ for everyone to see.
We would rather hide behind our computer or smart phone then talk to people
face to face. If what they said bothered you that much you could always DM
them, message them, call them, or sit down and talk to them. And if you just
can’t stomach that you could always click that “unfollow” button or that delete
friend button.
Many
of us are not led by the Spirit. We are led by emotions. We make an emotional
decision by lashing out and then try to justify our wrong behavior. How we
respond to one another is very important. Just because you cannot see someone’s
facial reaction does not give you a run way to attack someone.
Before
we tweet, Facebook, text, or talk we must think. There is a real person on the
other side of the screen. There is a real person with emotions and feelings. It
hurt when a person who I consider a close friend attacked me over a text
message. Calling me things that I know they never would have said if we were
face to face. It hurt when that Facebook friend commented on a status and
called me ignorant. We must learn how to respond to each other. Because of
social media we talk ABOUT people never TO people. Let’s learn from this.
WHAT
I'M NOT SAYING
Someone
may read this and think that I am advocating against social media. I am not. I
am just hoping that we see the dangers of the tool. The problem is not social
media. The problem is sin. Social media is just a tool. How are you using it? I
hope that we will not spend hours on vain things. The closer one gets to Christ
he realizes how vain things of this world truly are. Everything has their
rightful place. I think sadly we’ve elevated social media to an unhealthy
perspective on our lives. Why do we drive to it when we are depressed? What is
the need of telling the world how sad lonely and scared we are? I thought we
were supposed to come to Him.
Matthew 11:29: Come
unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
This
command is followed by a blessing: rest. God does not command us to vent on
social media. Social media, my friend, is not your diary. We come to God with
our worries and our fears. And then we leave it there. Worry is a city we drive
through. It is not a place we reside. Let us first run to our Savior not our
smart phone. Let us receive the rest promised for our souls. Social media can
be the greatest tool for the gospel or it could be the greatest tool for the
enemy. Your choice.