"For
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his
wife and they two shall be one flesh." Ephesians 5:31.
There
is only one ideal for marriage running right through the Scriptures, and that
is one man joined to one woman. Nowhere do we get the idea that we should
try various partners before choosing the right one. We see that the
selection of a partner was often made by parents, or sometimes as a reward; but
the suggestion in the New Testament is of the choice of two people to come
together of their own free will; only in the will of the Lord.
"She
is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord." 1
Corinthians 7:39. This is the usual practice in the Christian Church and
is in line with Scripture.
Marriage
is for mature people; men and women (not boys and girls) who are able to form a
separate family unit, independent both in finance and moral responsibility.
"Therefore
shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall
be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
Our
natural desires can easily lead us into a wrong even dangerous position.
Especially when we are young it is easy to become so convinced that we have
found the right one that our judgement becomes blurred if not blind. There have
been many who through an impetuous decision have been led into a sad
relationship or led away from a path of devotion to the Lord and obedience to
His Word.
From
1 Thessalonians 4:6 it is clear that competition between two people for one
partner is hated by God. This is something we should consider carefully.
"That
no man go beyond and defraud his brother in the matter." 1 Thessalonians
4:6 JND Translation. Many romance stories involve two men competing for
the love of one woman or vice versa. This should not be so with those who seek
to be guided by the Lord in these matters.
In
Proverbs 30 Agur talks about three things that are too wonderful for him; one
of these is "the way of a man with a maid"! The romance of
choosing a partner and the way this happens to us as guided by God is something
very special for the different individuals involved. Our Lord spent all
night in prayer before He chose His disciples; and to be guided into the will
of God we need to be similarly exercised in prayer.
There
is a different role for the man and the woman in these things. The man
has the responsibility to take the initiative, the woman has the responsibility
to respond, or not, as the Lord may lead. The man therefore has the duty
to wait patiently upon the Lord before intervening in the life of a sister; and
the woman to prayerfully wait upon the Lord to provide her with His choice.
The
term 'falling in love' is often used when a couple start to be friendly; this
can be superficial, and we should be wary of this concept as it gives the idea
of uncontrolled emotion. This could easily be lead by our old nature in a
mere infatuation simply because of physical attraction, because of being
continually in their company or even because of undue pressure from others.
Some like to act as match makers encouraging couples who they think are
suitable for each other. This is a dangerous game and has had many sad results.
The
love of the marriage relationship, is an act of will under the guidance of our
Master. An intelligent and permanent decision, which is taken in mature
consideration of the issues involved and which will endure through every
pressure and circumstance which might otherwise cause a couple to 'fall out of
love'. The Lord has decreed that marriage is for life and if we want the Lord’s
blessing we must follow his instructions. It is the lie of the devil that we
can be happy with someone else. We must reject his subtle whispers.
Title : CHOOSING A PARTNER THE SCRIPTURAL WAY: MY VIEWS
Description : "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh....