UNDERPINNING
SCRIPTURE:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. 6 Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never
fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are
tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass
away.
Love is defined as:
Ø an intense feeling of deep affection.
Ø a great interest and pleasure in
something.
Ø a
profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Ø a
feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child,
or friend.
1.
LOVE IS A LANGUAGE:
YOU MUST understand it?
Ø Love is not a feeling. Feelings rise and fall.
Ø Love is not romance.
Romantic fires can blaze or smolder.
Ø Love is not physical intimacy. Without love, all you have is lust.
Ø Love is the most important word in the English
language but also the most confusing.
Ø Like human languages, love is a language that we must
learn and communicate.
Ø WE MUST LEARN THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF OUR PARTNER.
Ø WE MUST COMMUNICATE IN THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF OUR
PARTNER.
2. ALWAYS KEEP
YOUR “love tank” full:
Symptoms of an empty tank
ü Misbehavior,
ü withdrawal,
ü harsh words,
ü critical spirit (misunderstanding)
“THE LIVELY SURGE
OF LOVE AND WORKABLE RELATIONSHIP
#1: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
ü Verbal compliments, or word of appreciation
ü They thrive with a person who continually notices what
they do right.
ü They await a partner’s encouraging words to awaken the
talents and gifts they may have suppressed.
ü They best respond to kind and humble words where
partners do not make demands but only requests of each other which each is free
to fulfill or not to fulfill.
ü Many times a person can become a workaholic because he
or she is simply looking for words of affirmation.
ü If communication has broken down, then make a list of
each other’s best qualities and make a point of complimenting your spouse in
one of these areas each week.
ü Jesus spoke words of affirmation over His disciples
such as calling Simon, which means “reed”, Peter, which means “rock.”
#2: QUALITY TIME:
ü Undivided
Attention:
ü focus on them,
ü spend time with them, or
ü Do Things together.
ü QUALITY TIME
IS TIME SHARED THAT CAN NEVER AGAIN BE RECAPTURED.
ü TOGETHERNESS:
ü Togetherness is a central aspect of quality time. Talking on the phone while playing a game is
not togetherness.
ü FEELINGS/SYMPATHY
CONVERSATION:
ü Not news, weather, etc. Your opinions and ideas.
ü EYE CONTACT
ü BODY
LANGUAGE
ü Let your body show that you are involved in the time
of communication.
#3: CONSTANT GIFTINGS:
ü A gift is a
symbol of thought. The
monetary value does not matter. The gift
may be found, bought, or made. It says,
“Look, he or she was thinking of me.”
ü The gift of YOURSELF, or your personal presence, at
important times speaks more than a physical gift.
ü Jesus was constantly giving of Himself to the people
He ministered to on a daily basis. He
often gave to the poor.
#4: ACTS OF SERVICE:
ü Acts of service communicates your deepest feelings of
“I want to be a blessing in your life!”
ü Remember, Jesus served His disciples, thus showing
them His love for them (John 13). This
does not mean that we have to be a doormat.
On the other hand, we must understand that for some partners, what we DO says much more than what we SAY.
#5: PHYSICAL TOUCH:
ü Research shows that babies who are held, touched, and
kissed are healthier than those who are not.
ü The Lord
placed nerve sensors in the human body for the purpose of transmitting stimulus
to the brain. For many people, it is
that physical touch that is their love language.
ü Hugs communicate more than words.
ü The physical touch love language is different than the
sexual drive.
ü Jesus took children in His arms and John leaned
against His breast at the last supper.
#6:
INTELLECTUAL QUOTIENT (IQ):
ü Understand the fact that no one needs a dummy at Home
ü Build and improve yourself as it is transmitted to
your upspring.
#7: TAKE CARE OF YOUR APPEARANCE/SCENT:
SUMMARY:
1.
Honey Do List (Acts of service)
2.
Do something as a family (Quality time)
3.
Get you that new dress, phone or shoes (Gifts)
4.
Leaving a card, gift, or surprise (Receiving gifts)
5.
Hug, embrace, or snuggle (Physical touch)
6.
A little appreciation(Words of affirmation)
7.
Words of encouragement or praise (Words of
affirmation)
8.
Hugs and kisses (Physical touch)
9.
Cleaning the house, washing the dishes, helping to
complete paperwork, etc.(Acts of service)
10. Spending time
talking and listening, planning an outing with your spouse, etc. (Quality time)
THINGS TO
AVOID:
PEOPLE WHO
LOVE EASILY
DECEPTIVE
LOVERS