We
have spoken about God's leading to the right partner for us if it is His will,
but there is also another aspect to consider and that is our responsibility to act
according to the Scriptures and with wisdom.
Prayer
for wisdom and direction is as essential in this area as it is in every aspect
of our lives. There have been many that have made mistakes: remember
Samson and Delilah; Esau and the daughters of Heth; Solomon and his many wives;
Ahab and Jezebel.
The
Scripture is clear that it is quite wrong for a Christian to marry an
unbeliever:
"Be
ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers." 2 Corinthians 6:14 - and of course this must apply to courtship as well. We may think we
can bring good out of our wrong action, but let us not be deceived, this has
been the downfall of many young and older Christians. If all we are
looking for is the physical and natural aspects of marriage we may be misguided
into thinking that a non-Christian can provide this. Remember there is no
true happiness and joy without Christ being the centre and He cannot bless us
if we are disobedient. (This does not, of course, disallow His grace and
forgiveness with us), but remember marriage is for life and a wrong step taken
here is taken for life.
There
is only one nature that we share with an unbeliever, and that is the old fallen
nature that we inherited from Adam. The new nature which appreciates the divine
truths that we possess as ‘born of God,’ is unknown to an unbeliever. A
Christian should be living in view of the world to come. An unbeliever has no
hope for the future and lives wholly for this life and for self.
If
the Lord is going to use us together as a family unit we need to be committed
to Him. It is not sufficient to choose a partner who just says they are a
Christian because: firstly they may prove to be otherwise and secondly if they
are converted but not committed to the Lord they will always be looking back to
the world's things. Remember Lot's wife. In the same way, if I am
not committed to the Lord I cannot think of myself as a suitable partner for
another.
"Can
two walk together, except they be agreed." Amos 3:3.
How
do we see someone else's commitment to the Lord? If we are involved in
the Lord's work in whatever capacity our abilities allow, we will meet others
who are like minded and this commitment to serve the Lord will flow into our
marriage. Let us not deceive ourselves into thinking that an attraction
to someone is sufficient and assume that other difficulties will be overcome
after we are married.
Serving
the Lord with your spouse must mean having the same exercise as to the place to
enjoy the privileges of Christian fellowship, and being committed to the
gathering together of the Lord's people as seen in the Scriptures. Then
together you can serve the Lord and bring up children with the same conviction
and not be divided, so that one goes to one ‘type of church’ and the other to
another with the conflicting loyalties this brings when children come along.
We
should ask ourselves the question - Are we ready to make a decision as to who
to marry and to begin to take on the responsibility of a new family unit before
facing the Lord's request to be baptised and remember Him in the Breaking of
Bread and drinking the cup? The Lord has the first claim to our love,
obedience and devotion. We cannot say we are spiritually mature unless we
have responded to His request. Luke 22 v 19 "This do in remembrance of
me"!
Physical
attraction makes up part of the bond we have with our partner but this must not
take priority over the spiritual and mental aspects of our relationship.
The world around us makes almost everything of the physical and we must guard
against this playing too great a part in our choice of partner. The world
is led on by Satan who is against the idea of marriage as instituted by
God. If we allow ourselves to be exposed to the media's perceptions of
relationships they can unconsciously enter our minds and affect our
actions. Let us guard ourselves from songs, films, books, plays etc. that
entertain low morals or overplay the physical and emotion aspect of choosing a
partner.
As
I said at the beginning, pray. Earnest prayer is vital, we must be guided
by the Lord in these things - but even in this there is a danger. How
often has someone starting down a foolish road quickly justified himself or
herself by saying 'but I have prayed a lot about it.' We must realise
that the flesh is weak and it is so easy to persuade ourselves that the Lord is
sanctioning our actions because we want it that way when we have already
committed ourselves to our own will. Patience is a safeguard while we
pray. Wait patiently upon Him.
"For
all seek their own not the things which are Jesus Christ's."
Philippians 2:21.
Do
we have ambitions for a family life that is based on the world's aims of
materialism? Are we seeking a marriage in which to settle into a
comfortable existence? If we are truly committed to the Lord we shall be
willing to serve Him together in whatever circumstances He places us, whether
humble or exalted, rich or poor.
"I
have learned in whatever state I am, therewith to be content."
Philippians 4:11.
We
will do well to take account of advice given by godly and experienced believers
and parents. We must remember that they have a responsibility to help us
through difficult decisions.
"Remember
them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God:
whose faith follow considering the end of their conversation."
Hebrews 13:7.
Title : "THE HUMAN RESPONSIBILITY AND ROLE"
Description : We have spoken about God's leading to the right partner for us if it is His will, but there is also another aspect to consider and t...